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About Digital Art / Professional Core Member VickyFemale/United States Groups :iconavengers-x-reader: Avengers-x-Reader
Avengers Assemble! :)
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Deviant for 4 Years
3 Month Core Membership
Statistics 396 Deviations 8,094 Comments 57,519 Pageviews

Activity


I forgot to add that 13 of those one-shots are for Cap
I just found 70 one-shots I haven't posted...
Bought a few books to MAYBE help me write SOMETHING with words and sentences and stuff...
Just so tired... tired of it
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Crickets
  • Reading: Hook's Pan
  • Eating: Diablo 3
  • Drinking: Root Beer
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be deleting this account. I don't do anything constructive for here and it's kind of a waste when I don't even come here to read. I might make another one in future if I can ever get over me feeling like crap when I see someone else's fantastic work. I'll delete it when I get up tomorrow so that if anyone wants to send me a message with details of how to keep in touch then I'll see it. Bye
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Crickets
  • Reading: Seduction and Surrender

Found Something

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 15, 2015, 10:18 PM
I have Jeremy Renner on my fb to watch his posts and he posted something I would love to see written: 

Jeremy Renner Bitten

I would do it myself but then I couldn't read it.... PLEASE!!!!

  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Crickets
  • Reading: The Blue Moon Brides Series
81 deviations

Scared of 'what if's

Fri Sep 25, 2015, 8:50 PM
I've had a lot on my mind lately since I've had time to think. Ever since I broke up with my now ex-boyfriend, I've been scared.

What if I can't find anyone to actually love me? What if the only time someone wants to be with me is because they want something? What if I'm meant to be a lone for the rest of my life?

Every day these questions have bothered me, they're like the plague that can't be cured. 

My mind does nothing but keep me in despair as I slowly go mad with these thoughts. All of my reading of fanfiction and books no longer help me in giving me hope. All I get from them now is how my life will never get a happy ending.

I'm scared of dying alone, scared of staying in the same crap place for the rest of my miserable life, scared of never getting anywhere with my 'supposed' talent, scared of working in Walmart until I have to retire.

I'm scared that I'm a disappointment to my family.

I remember gram always saying I was special and, even though most kids are told that, for the longest time I actually believed it. Now I know it wasn't true. Now I know I'm a nobody with a stupid dream that is meant to die young because I can't stand the thought of livig a long time.

This isn't a suicide note... this is my wish because I don't think I can bare living for long.

And I know many of you will send me a comment or something saying I have you to talk to if I need it, but honestly, I can't. I know you won't understand and even if you did, nothing you can say will console me.

I'm alone in a vast wasteland of doubt, sorrow, and despair; someplace I don't think even God can find me right now.

  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Reading: The Daughter's Trilogy by C. M. Owens

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ChristaRennerston's Profile Picture
ChristaRennerston
Vicky
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
United States
Interests
Just so tired... tired of it
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Crickets
  • Reading: Hook's Pan
  • Eating: Diablo 3
  • Drinking: Root Beer

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconanonymousmyself:
AnonymousMyself Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Oh God. You're back! I was so worried over you! 
Please don't disappear like this again and know that you're actually an awesome writer. I'd love to be as good as you.
Reply
:iconchristarennerston:
ChristaRennerston Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. I'm still not doing anything though, as you can tell
Reply
:iconanonymousmyself:
AnonymousMyself Featured By Owner 20 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
As long, as you're ok I'm fine with no reading goodies although I hope inspiration'll hit you in the near future ;)
Reply
:iconpoesdaughter:
PoesDaughter Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2015  Professional Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: on my tutorials :) 
Reply
:iconkarlasorel:
KarlaSorel Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fav<33
Reply
:iconnomnomsun:
NOMNOMSUN Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
DON'T YOU DARE COMMIT SUICIDE VICKY!

I'M NOT LETTING A FELLOW DA FAN GO DOWN. I DON'T CARE IF THERE IS A SCREEN BETWEEN ME AND YOU! DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK THAT WAY!

I'M NOT GONNA SIT IDLY BY AND WATCH YOU MAKE THESE KINDS OF SELF-HARMING THREATS!
I WON'T SLEEP UNTIL I'M SURE YOU ARE FUCKING OKAY!
Reply
:iconchristarennerston:
ChristaRennerston Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I couldn't do it... I tried but I couldn't... I have cuts on my wrists but I botched it
Reply
:iconnomnomsun:
NOMNOMSUN Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Please stop! You're scaring me!
I couldn't sleep because I thought I witnessed someone kill themselves on the internet!
Reply
:iconchristarennerston:
ChristaRennerston Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm being honest... I tried but it took all I could do and I didn't finish it...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontm1forever:
TM1Forever Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2015
Thanks for the faves :thanks: and God bless you
Reply
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